The phrase “family values” has been the subject of vexed and emotive debates in Kenya, Africa, and globally. A curious inquiry into its origins reveals a nexus among moral standards, social structural order, religious beliefs, and economics. A scan of its evolution in the twentieth century depicts individuals and groups rushing to rectify the deterioration of morals, aiming for an ideal they imagined: the nuclear family.
Fast forward to the 21st century, conversations around “family values” continue, painfully oblivious to diversity in families and in the process of enforcing them, erasing and othering members of society. So, the question begs: family values for whom? In a country like Kenya, can such discussions still hold? Or does it hold only when convenient for some, those privileged and aligned to the frame of the ideal family?
While it is generally accepted that family is the core structure of any society, is it possible to enact laws underpinned by family values and still be cognisant of our diverse beliefs or otherwise? The description of family among Kenyans, in its diversity and lived realities, is very different from what any law or policy may describe. Thus, the imperative shift is to focus on national values and principles of governance, a foundation on which we ought to build our Kenyan society, without insinuating superiority of any religious, social, cultural, or economic system, and to resist the urge to impose any values on any family in Kenya.
Recently, social media has been flooded with posts by Kenyans standing in solidarity, uplifting, consoling, empowering, and saving individuals from the brink of mental breakdown. If anything, these acts of kindness and compassion align with Article 10(2)b, which describes the national values and principles, including “human dignity, equity, social justice, inclusiveness, equality, human rights, non-discrimination and protection of the marginalised.”
In a country where structural inequality prevails (According to Oxfam’s Kenya’s Inequality Crisis Report125 people hold more wealth than 77% of the population), hate speech and crimes often go unpunished, open discrimination and exclusion of family members is mostly tolerated, the home is one of the most dangerous space for women and children, can we still as a country afford to be bogged down by conversations around family values? If so, for whom?
Can we discuss family values with the Gabra women in Marsabit, ostracised from their community for getting pregnant before marriage, while their partners in the act get socially readmitted? Or maybe with an individual who suffered childhood sexual assault perpetrated by their biological father and whose mother testified against them? Imagine discussions of family values with an elderly woman somewhere in Kisii, Kilifi, or Nyeri who escaped a rape or arson attack due to her alleged involvement in “witchcraft,” and the suspected perpetrator is their grandchild? Or children who witnessed their father dismembering their mother in their presence, or vice versa?
Think of family values discussions with people denied marriage to those they loved because of class dynamics, people denied elected leadership positions because of their single parenthood status, sex workers criminalised for their work while their clients walk free, widows forcefully disinherited of their deceased husband’s property? Whichever way you wish to perceive family values, there can never be a set that fits all; each family, whether blood or chosen, should be left to determine its own ways of living, provided harm is avoided at all costs.
What we, as a country, must focus on is respect for human life, the upholding of each other’s dignity, and the realisation of our great potential. Any Kenyan policy, legislation, or regulation must be attuned to our diversity and grounded in our national values and principles. As we gear up for elections, all persons seeking any leadership positions in registered societies, such as the Law Society of Kenya, or any County and National elective position in the upcoming general elections, must be tested against national values and principles, and not family values.
Zaina Kombo is Amnesty International Kenya Equality & Anti-Discrimination Campaigns Manager and writes in her personal capacity. Email: [email protected]